• Import/Export

• Sales Negotiation

• Supplier Management

• Stock Control

• Fleet Management

• Team Leadership/Training

• Painting/Decorating

• House Clearance

• Fluent in French

1981 - 2001

Managing Partner

Trotters Independent Trading Company

• Played a key role in the strategic management of this import/export business which operated from offices in London, Paris and Peckham
• Bought and sold a wide range of lovely jubbly gear including half-price cracked ice, miles and miles of carpet tiles, TVs, deep freeze, David Bowie LPs, ball games, gold chains, Trevor Francis track suits, Russian ex-military camcorders, portable Rajah computers, telescopic Christmas trees, cycling helmets, inflatable dolls, suntan lotion, men's wigs, Mustafa F80 radio cassette players, microwaves, deep-fat fryers, mobile phones, pre-blessed wine, vintage Beaujolais, Futafax fax machines, Latvian alarm clocks, lawnmower engines and a nuclear fall-out shelter
• Attended local auctions and building relationships with dealers to acquire fine art, antique furniture and other high quality merchandise
• Personally oversaw the import of £150,000 of diamonds from Holland to Blighty, earning £15,000 from sales
• Fleet management of a Robin Reliant Regal and Capri Ghia
• Diversified the business into new areas including nocturnal security, launching Trotter Watch to meet the site security needs of local bus companies
• Managed the complete redecoration of a Chinese takeaway, sourcing 'gold' paint from Trigger and overseeing Rodney to paint the restaurant kitchen
• Launched and operated Trotters' Ethnic Tours: a scenic bus tour which took in the sights of Chingford and Croydon, appointing a bus driver and publicity officer to market the enterprise
• Sourced the previously untapped Peckham Spring, bottling and selling tap water for a tidy profit
• Contracted to clean valuable chandeliers at Ridgemere Hall Estate, home of Lord and Lady Ridgemere, a nice little earner
• Directed the filming of wedding videos at the town hall to capture clients' special occasion, bonnet de douche
• Recruited local talent as movie extras for a community based film, charging interested parties a £10 fee for the privilege
• Appointed Band Manager of Rodney's new band, securing a lucrative St Patrick's night gig at The Shamrock Club
• Pet sat for Duke, Boycie and Marlene's Great Dane puppy, whilst they were on holiday
• Head hunted to become the Director of Jumbo Mills' new import business
• Located the 18th Century 'Lesser Watch,' a marine watch by John Harrison at a house clearance before selling it at auction at Sotherby's for £6.2m in 1996, Chateauneuf du Pape!
• Traded stocks, investing heavily in the Central American Markets

1964 - 1981

Market Trader

Trotters Independent Trading Company

• Stepped up to the mark as the sole breadwinner of the Trotter family, whilst looking after my younger brother Rodney, the twonk

• Put a pony in my pocket, grabbed my suitcase from the back and traded dodgy gear in Peckham market or from the back of my bright yellow Robin Reliant Regal Supervan, employing Rodders as my look-out for the boys in blue

1960 - Present